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I’m sad.

My son’s best friend’s mother is entering hospice. During this highly emotional sky (double Cancer), I feel her. I feel the pain of her family. I notice how my mind runs off to their house in my imagination and I often am holding space.

His mother is being very private–not speaking to anyone but family…and so she should be. She wants no one included in this very vulnerable time.

What is it about our society that Death is denied? Is it because Death is ugly and mean? It’s never an easy topic to address–ever. I could skate over this issue and not speak to my/our pain (honestly, I think there is death all around all of us), and I am a responsible astrologer with Saturn in Sag, so I have to say it:

As a collective, we are headed north, looking straight into a fog, with our collective headlights on high-beam in desperate fear that perhaps we are lost—yet not willing to talk about it.

To say I am in pain and I am sad is true–but it’s not just because of that mom who is sick. Truth is: there is so much more going on. We are all feeling it.

Wedding dates have been changed, graduation gatherings are off, everything with group fun has been left behind. No traveling, no movies, no concerts or sporting events. Is this life’s way of sobering us, demanding that we feel?

Welcome double Cancer sky.

All those suffering from COVID-19, from racism and inequality. All those suffering from a fear of the future, financial strain, the pain of not enough love or fresh water. It’s just so sad.

Cancer is the sign of compassion, and an eclipse is here. Time to feel.

Is it a time to pause (welcome Mercury retrograde) and to slow down? Astrologically, it sure is: it is time.

There have been four planets going retrograde (Venus, Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto), many of them lasting all the way through September. This week we added one more–five planets–as Mercury is retrograde now.

You try walking backwards…you can’t without having to go very slowly and deliberately.

I am slowing down. I think all of us are realizing we have to.

This life is vulnerable. We are living in the times of absent leadership and tradition meltdown.

I was told hard science and numbers were solid, that there were trusted leaders and wisdom keepers who inevitably nail down our values and integrity. I thought that we had deep-rooted values that were staked in the ground by our forefathers. I really believed our North American society was solid as a mountain. What a silly dream.

My son came in to tell me that today hospice is arriving at her house, dare I say it—it may be true for our world too. Are we dated? Do we need convalescing?

Our old world is gone.

Hard to swallow, easy to avoid. Can we talk about this? The world has shifted.

It’s sad.

Under this sky the message is: it’s okay to be sad. It’s even healthy, said double Cancer.

Can you imagine being raised as a young being with: “It’s okay to be sad. Life is short. I am going to love you forever, unconditionally, every day of your life”—and mean it?

Cancer is the quintessential mother energy that just loves life, loves you no matter what.

I am going to emotionally plead with you to open up to your vulnerability. How can you open?

I want to hold your hand. I want to say to my son’s friend’s mother: Keep your eyes open, feel the love, let go. This next journey is going to be so much better than you can imagine. But we do not talk about death like that.

Surrender. Cry. Be scared. Get mad. Feel.

This is a new moon. Let there not be a dry eye in the house.

We are in this together. I want you to know its okay to cry. Maybe I am talking to myself.

A true Cancer is strong enough to be vulnerable.

It takes far more courage to be real and tender than fake and strong.

I challenge you to find that courage.

I am sad. Yet, I know,
The stars have our back.
Life has our back.
They always have,
They always will.

In faith — I am sharing mine with you, lean in,
Debra

50 Comments

  • Amazing, and an interesting perspective. I hadn’t thought of it that way.

    I am married to a Cancer, with Cancer Rising and a Virgo Moon. He’s an emotional man. I wonder how this lays together although he is handling this pandemic situation better that I am.

    My Scorpio grandmother passed yesterday so I will be tearful regardless.

    We live in interesting times for sure. Thanks for your insight.

  • Lhopk2455@aol.com' Lisa Hopkins says:

    Thank you for the beautiful message! I appreciate your openness. ❤️

  • lizbru@hotmail.com' Elizabeth Bru says:

    Thank you for your wisdom. I’m having a hard time.
    Love, a Cancer sun/ Aries moon. 💜💜

  • celticgrl11@gmail.com' Linda says:

    This is beautiful Debra. I am working on this very topic of softening my heart, letting it open and being more vulnerable. Tired of being the adult, it’s time to be able to feel and let those around me feel as well.

  • traej27@gmail.com' Tracy Jarvis says:

    Thank you, Debra. I love how you’ve pointed out that true strength is vulnerability. My Saturn is in Cancer, 7th house. I want to love everyone. Correction: I DO love EVERYONE. Most dismiss or mistrust that about me. I hold back. Or I used to. Maybe all I’ve ever wanted was to be trusted with that beautiful soul. What I needed was to love my own the same. That’s where I am. Oh the pain the soul can hold! Love it.
    Thank you for following the guidance you’ve been given. It makes a path to strength.

  • Mary.squires@comcast.net' Mary says:

    I always want to ask “who do you see?”
    Who visits you from the other side …
    my moon in cancer says yes
    but I find most people never want to talk about it either
    It’s insensitive to ask 😢
    So I guess I just have to wait till they’re
    on the other side to ask my questions
    After the pain and in the light 🕯

  • graphicpartner@hotmail.com' Marian Ford says:

    Death to an adult is like a monster in a dark closet. It need not be. Faith in God, the energy of the universe, science that no energy is wasted only converted, any will do. The last to deaths in my life were parent figures as well as dear friends of many years. We gathered, hugged, drank, laughed. We all knew their beliefs…religion was just in case the energy of the universe wasn’t. No chastising, last minute conversions, just love and trust that this is not the end. My thoughts are with you. Marian

  • Kjk1129@sbcglobal.met' Kathleen kramer says:

    Thank you for you vulnerability and raw honesty and brilliance. I wish you were one of my dear friends.❤️Kathy

  • byl1952@gmail.com' Beatrice says:

    Well written. Been sad since Dars-CoV-2 hit my beloved Europe, my birthplace and youth.
    It hit even harder when I lost a close loved one to it. A physician who gave his life to make room for the younger ones. A tree cut down with one blow.
    Wish mad would set in, instead like so many of us, sad, crying, frozen in time.
    Catatonic at times. This all has changed us inside and our world as we knew it. Got around in it. Frozen at social distance, frozen in a state of disposable post 65 years old.
    Comfort in my old 14 year old dog with declining kidneys, more fear what cannot heal
    This world needs a pause and a reset. So does everyones individual life.
    A Continental Divide between the “I’m like” self focused generation, and the rest of us that want to care, help, show compassion, made tougher during this world crisis.

  • Heamay@gmail.com' Elizabeth says:

    Thank you. You expressed so beautifully and lovingly what I have been feeling. I didn’t understand. I could feel your love coming off the page. I needed that as I have been very hard on myself lately.

    I love your sassiness and humor. I pass your work on to all my friends and loved ones. Keep up the work.

  • Merchantsusan100@yahoo.com' Susan Merchant says:

    Dear Debra, I just wanted to say what a comfort you have been to me this last year. Seems all we an count on now is the Stars. I feel the sadness you spoke of, I knew my world would never be the same when my husband, the love of my life passed away March of last year. But everything that has taken place scence has blown my mind. Your writing has given me hope, that this too a will pass. Thank you for being a light. Love Susan

  • Thank you💙💛🙏🏻

  • caseycoda@earthlink.net' Casey Coda says:

    I love this so much Debra Silverman… thank you WISE AND LOVING WOMAN.
    Deep bow to you as I cry, and love, with the world. May we expand. May we transform into the Truest Love possible… 💞💞💞

  • vinceanna1115@icloud.com' Vinceanna says:

    So beautiful mahalo for being and showing what vulnerability looks:feels like. Love You

  • reneevalois@comcast.net' Renee says:

    Thank you for this. I love your advice to the woman about to pass: “Keep your eyes open, feel the love, let go. This next journey is going to be so much better than you can imagine.” I do not fear death. My Dad and Father-in-Law have remained Earthbound, waiting for my mother and mother-in-law, so they can pass into the Light together. Other ghosts slip in and out of our house. I do not fear them. There’s a sweetness in having proof that there’s more than this physical life. We chose to be on this Earth at this difficult time because we are up to the challenge–and we want to grow. As a Cancer, I want to mother everyone, to make it all right–and I do feel deeply. But surprisingly, I am not sad. Something wonderful is coming in this world. I feel it. And it is long overdue.

  • hcmgn187@gmail.com' Holly Morgan says:

    Debra,
    I am so very sad, too. I haven’t had work since Covid, my birthday is in 3 days, all my friends and family are in Colorado, and i have never been more lonely. I wrote you last week about your apprenticeship… I am one lost, sad soul. I need help in a direction, I am floating and im almost 50. Pathetic. I would love any chance you may give me to work for you… Anything.
    Sincerely,
    Holly Morgan

  • jenaviemeister@gmail.com' Jena Viemeister says:

    Thank you for your post. <3

  • Dderenzis2192@gmail.com' Diane says:

    Thank you , I needed those words today !

  • 1joyfuljo@gmail.com' Josie says:

    Thank You♡! I am so grateful for your loving kindness and caring spirits of truth, shared journeys with this 7.5 million or so, beings on this planet of Earth!
    Your expression, truly brought forth my tears!
    My mother use to say! “Tears wash our souls!”
    These tears are not just for sorrow, they are also for love, hope, joy, vulnerability, caring, gratitude and happiness, we are all in this together!
    You are truly an 🌎🎁💞💝😇😷
    Josie

  • lah319@yahoo.com' Laurie says:

    Thank you Deb! I discovered you during Suzanne’s Astrological Summit, and I really appreciated what you had to say about our collective reality and it’s alignment with the stars. Sending my sympathy to you and your son during your feelings of sadness for the people you are close to right now, and thank you also for sharing that with us. With my Sun sign as Pisces, I will meditate more as you suggested…with my rising sign as Libra I will use that as a goal to focus on, and with my Moon in Aries, I will also continue to exercise, making it a goal too. You have given me great clarity, and I really appreciate it!

  • Mauilibby@gmail.com' Libby Pannwitt says:

    Debra…
    As always, thank you for your honesty and clear voice in today’s message. Yes, it is an incredibly emotional time ( said the Scorpio with Cancer Rising) I so admire your energy and how amazingly productive you are, how you have grown over the past few years as our teacher.
    It is so difficult to grasp This much change all at once with breaking “news” each day, and our poor, brave Planet, still suffocating with the negligence of humans, much less it’s own life cycle of change and transformation. I am in the winter of what has been a wonderful life. An extraordinary time. i now live on Maui with my husband, and we may be one of the more protected places on earth from Covid. But with the push to reopen the economy, the downside is the inevitable uptick of cases…and what may be a surprise to many, that the world we know is no longer what we will wake up to.
    Yes, a time of great change, and yes, I feel the incredible grief of these changes. i weep especially for young people…whose future is murky, whose high points of graduation from high school or college have been muted, the weddings now on Zoom sessions instead of in a meadow with family and friends around to share the love in physical space. And where do we go from here?
    Yes, I Do cry…and appreciate your acknowledgement that we all need to feel these things.
    Thank you, Debra, my teacher. Thank you for sharing your wisdom of life and the Universe. i pray that you and Your loved ones are safe and being cautious, wherever you are. Yes, Please Be safe.
    With love and deep respect.
    Libby Pannwitt ( your student at the first level)
    Mauilibby@gmail.com

  • rsalmon@ajaimerojas.com' ricardo salmon foley says:

    Thank you for your words Debra always inspiring, and makes reflection, more on this time.
    Admiring of you everytime

  • Dgutkowski@gmail.com' Dana says:

    Thank you ❤️

  • Kristin.carbone33@gmail.com' Kristin says:

    Oh Debra these first two paragraphs hit home! Just an hour before I opened your email about the new moon I received a text that a dear friend of mine was getting a hospital bed delivered to her house so that she can be in hospice care at. She too wants to be alone with her husband and isn’t responding to msgs. I will take your advice and hold space for her and the collective and allow myself (sun ♑️, moon ♒️ , AC ♏️ ) to feel sad 😞 🙏💚

  • kskerritt1@yahoo.com' Kathryn says:

    I always enjoy your insights. I agree that we need to talk more about death and dying, more specifically dying with dignity which is very personal. My love and prayers are with you and your son as you honor the wishes of his best friends Mom. Never easy to lose the ones we love. Peace.

  • marguerite.specht@comcast.net' Margue says:

    Thanks love. Boy am I feelin it
    I needed permission to be sad. As there is loss everywhere I look and I try to make sense of it
    all.
    Your honesty is so important

  • cari.weizenecker@comcast.net' Cari Weizenecker says:

    Thank You Debra. God Bless your son’s friend and his mother.
    xoxo

  • betsysantos60@gmail.com' Betsy says:

    Thank you so much for this true and gracious message. I felt especially sad all day today. Thank you for the permission to let the tears flow, as they are now just as I finish reading your beautiful words of wisdom Debra.💞
    I love you and I love this community.
    Warmly,
    Cancer rising and Cancer Mars.

  • rclore60@gmail.com' LaRhonda J Clore says:

    My mantra is…..Life is a precious gift, it’s situations that SUCK…But you can change a situation. I was raised that death is a celebration if you believe in God Almighty then life truly begins.
    Have a BLESSED day

  • carlaraeholland@yahoo.com' Carla-Rae says:

    I hear you heartbeat.

  • isabelmulvihill@gmail.com' Isabel Mulvihill says:

    You are not talking to yourself Debra. I hear you loud and clear. Today I bought and signed my first Father’s Day card in four years to my new son in law who has stepped up to the plate and is being a father to my four grandsons. I truly admire him for this. His name is John. My husband’s name was John the last card that I signed for Father’s Day four years ago. I struggled in the store when buying the card but the crying didnt start until I wrote a message to my son in law. I cried so hard and felt so heart broken to see my husband’s name on a card I would have been giving to him. I knew I had reached a milestone that I was avoiding so as not to relive the pain of his loss.
    I felt , I acknowledge, I owned my sadness then I wiped away the tears and celebrated a young man that deserved to be celebrated. My husband was a Cancer sun this is what he would have done.
    Your story brought me back to when I hospiced my husband at home because that’s where he wanted to be .With his family around him the familiar surroundings and lack of sterility that would have been in a hospital .I would whisper in his ear that when he was ready it was ok to go.
    It is us that dont want to let go we dont want to feel the pain of the loss, of never hearing their voice and words of wisdom and laughter and even their scolding. But we never loose any of this ,for me I can hear his voice see his cheeky grin,visualize how he would do something, Its not gone but tucked away in a safe place in our hearts. My words to my kids were “your dad did his job here on earth and we still have to do ours before it’s our time to join him” I still believe this to be true as I can see how he evolved during his life with us. Thank you Debra💜

  • lynseyshakespeare@hotmail.com' Lynsey says:

    Dear Debra,
    Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your feelings. I have felt the same. I’ve felt so sad, so mad, vulnerable, tired and deplete of energy. I cry and cry. I thought it was my body and minds way of catching up with itself having been looking after covid 19 patients, and absorbing all the grief and my own grief. I feel comforted that what I’m experiencing right now is ok despite it being heavy, and it’s a shared feeling with others.

    Thank you Debra… I’m leaning in and letting it go.

  • chrisrobinson@me.com' Chris Robinson says:

    Beautiful and so true says the Cancerian with Libra rising . I have just lost my hubby of 40 years and feel he had a good death at home . I feel a strong urge to talk openly about this process and percepcion iof death as a society . Birth and death should both be met with the same celebration . Much love Chris

  • linda@ldlartstudio.com' Linda+Dian+Laterowicz says:

    Thank you, Debra.

  • kikcind@yahoo.com' Cindy says:

    This is So deep! I love it when others can be raw, and tell it like it is! These are thoughts we are all thinking right now! We need so much compassion and love right now! Everyone at the heart of things, I believe just wants to be loved and understood. Division separates right now, but I also see much good going on. Debra, thank you for your wisdom and love!
    We all need it right now! ❤️❤️❤️

  • rspencer848@gmail.com' Ruth Spencer says:

    Thank you for those beautiful words. Today I sent an email to my children and siblings to celebrate my Dad’s birthday today on Father’s Day. This year will be 40 years since he passed away. I miss him.

  • ladyplantago@gmail.com' Sara says:

    Yes. I hear this, I feel it, I am with you too, Debra!!

  • k3king2000@yahoo.com' Lois K King says:

    Thank you. I truly needed to hear this today.

  • amber.voner@gmail.com' Amber says:

    Hello Dedra,

    My heart goes out to your son’s friends family, envisioning a comfortable transition for this woman.

    I must say I am rather triggered by this blog, as a woman of color. You mention the “crisis” that we are in but gentle sandwich “racism and inequality” between COVID-19 hardships.

    Please know, I am not writing this response as a way to attack you or your brand, I am a student of yours and have enjoyed your work for a few years now. I am writing this response as you have a HUGE platform, and I would guess, it reaches mainly white people. I was looking forward to reading your newsletter and receiving an astrologers view point of the systemic racism within this country .

    So I will end with a question:

    How do you plan to use your platform to draw attention to the crisis that has devastated, twisted and ended the lives of black Americans for centuries?

  • Rubylincoln@yahoo.com' Sharon says:

    Thank you,I very much appreciate it insights.

  • brandybrost@gmail.com' Brandy says:

    Your not talking to no one. I am a cancer Moon and speaking vulnerable expression to people makes me feel like an alien. This morning I gave myself to the stars, they are always up in the open space in infinity twinkling their hearts out, flirting with the cosmo’s and sparkling for all to see. Many have cried the blues to the stars and yet the stars just sparkle in response to the pain being poured out towards them. The stars never judge. Cancer Moon Loves You. I am looking forward to being around my people this month!! Bring on the tears!

  • Veronique4@aol.com' Veronica says:

    That was powerful Debra and right on time.

  • mariahmarcum@gmail.com' Mariah Marcum says:

    Thank you for the beautiful message. Exactly what I needed today, when I’m sad. It’s ok.

  • Ptatthebc@aol.com' Janet says:

    Thankyou Debra for giving me
    Permission to Feel. I am a health care provider in the healing arts. I can tell you it’s been a hard
    Sell. I am known for pixie happiness and keeping a light heart . I always look at the sunny side of life…
    But as I said it’s been a hard sell.
    People are hurting and are confused and there are so many emotions.
    We say in the healing with I do that Feeling is healing. Right now I am sad . I feel better that the stars are on my side. My thoughts are with your Debra during this difficult time . In love and light

  • goldnava888@gmail.com' Catherine says:

    I don’t think a lot of people talk about death because they haven’t touched that light before. I had a car accident years ago and all I can tell you is that there is a time when there was “no fear” when you are so close to death. I have been around people who have died, and I have seen them take their last breath. I think sometimes the heaviness people have, is the human side of being on the planet. I think it has been a challenge to stay here vs. go, at times. I think for the people who have transitioned (died) and you were close to, I still ask for their help even though they have transitioned and say prayers for them. As for me I was told to say to myself, “my life expectations are greater than my death expectations” this statement grounds me here on the planet. It has helped.

    Thank you for all your articles I am grateful I can read, write, see and as-simulate information. Yah.

  • nancy.briscoe@eastlink.ca' Nancy Briscoe says:

    I have been so sad lately and have received tragic news for 2 people I care very much about. One died, the other close to it yet again. I am sad, and I’ve been close to tears off and on for days…thanks for the permission to cry! 🙏🙏🙏

  • taramaz7@comcast.net' Tara Mason Mazza says:

    I love you Debra, but I do not appreciate the political reference in today’s reading. You may believe that this country has no leadership but many people, including myself, believe we do. It may not be traditional, or pretty but it is what America needed for so many reasons. America has been blinded by the lies and manipulation done politicians leading us that it became normal. Thank you, 🙏🏼❤️

  • Jacquelinebambenek@gmail.com' Jacqueline says:

    Leaning in…to the space of Love. Death and sadness have been active players in my life these last three years. I now have been caretaking my father in his home, who is also on hospice. I am a Scorpio with Chiron in my chart, and that is about the extent that I know, and the depth of my ocean is an abyss. Each day I look to Guidance, pray, love, feel…though some days I compartmentalize those emotions. We can only feel our joy to the extent that we allow ourselves to feel the pain. This is a beautiful article Debra. I recently purchased an online course to learn more about my life’s purpose and astrology. Hoping to dive into it soon. Thank you for being you and sharing from your heart. 💝✨🙏

  • Mimig1276@gmail.com' Maryanne says:

    Thank you for a post rooted in love.

  • shannond@jps.net' Shannon says:

    Nailed it. At least for this double Cancer with Mercury and Venus in Cancer also. I did not want to leave the house. Thank you.

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