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I have not had the best luck in sustained, long-term romantic relationships. I am one of those Geminis that has known love in too many shades to count. I am telling you this because there is a double Libra sky showing up today — while Venus has gone retrograde in Scorpio — and it is time to review the patterns we play out in the most important game in town: relationship.

As we always suggest during a dark sky, take the time to reflect. A full moon screams: Come on out! Howl to me. A new moon says: Stay inside and consider the theme of the month, in this case: LOVE!

For so long, I felt like a failure. I thought it was my ‘bad’ karma that relationship escaped me.

My first husband (who was a great guy) suffered from a disease that had us humbled and surrendered to circumstance that interrupted everything. It was all about his healing. While it was a sweet love affair fate, destiny (call it what you will) got in our way. Illness changes all things and had us in a slow dance with survival. He eventually passed, and while the story is a complicated one, the short story was that I had to let go of the dream of romance and happy ever after in my early 30’s.

I struggled to find a partner years later, and I did for some time. I never found that ‘perfect’ partner; however, what I did have in spades (and this too belongs to our Libra consideration) is partnership in the name of friendships. To know who has your back — to feel comforted by a friend who listens to you — is also relationship.

As Venus goes backwards (it is retrograde from October 5 – November 16, 2018), it begs us to look back with objective eyes. I see that I know relationship — I have long, sustained friendships that have never missed a beat. People know me deeply, and accept me just as I am, with no request for me to change.

Who in your world do you consider your ‘relations’? Who do you want to give back to without constraint? Who is the person you just LOVE for who they are — flaws, challenges and all? This is the time under this double Libra sky to reach out and say: I just love you. I am so grateful to you.

Because I am a Libra rising, I have a tendency to have this kind of conversation often. I send love letters. I buy gifts. I remind those I love how much fun it is to know them. This is the time to be hopeless romantic to whomever you love.

Feel into your Libra energy. We have access to every flavor. This month is all about Hallmark cards, flowers, sweet things and sharing in the love for relationship/friendship — no matter what your karma has been.

Mine has not been that easy, yet now as an elder, I have learned to love in so many ways. And yes, I too have finally found a love — romantic and sweet — even though I had given up and thought my karma finalized.

Everything is changing. Let’s never give up hope in love and know our job is to keep our heart open, to believe in love and dream that you too can find what you are looking for—even if it’s with a pet, a friend or a child. Love has so many shapes.

Love is spreading, like water upon the sand not missing a grain.

Love you,


  •' jane freedman says:

    Hey Deborah….

  •' Laura says:

    I love this. Thank you

  •' rocci disopa says:

    Same here! I’m a Libra so definitely ‘feel’ your pain. Great birthday advice, thanks!!

  •' Lana says:

    Oh do I feel this, like a void.
    Friends & Family are full of love.
    Longing fo my next soul mate! ♡

  •' Molly McGuire says:

    Debra- get this… the irony that is…

    The love of my life and I divorced in January after 20 years married. Shit had gone down and we were a firehouse fuckety of pure power struggles (I’m the difficult woman that has no problem challenging men…)

    The astrology part, Libra moon is one I presume I am simply in tune with before knowing it… I asked if he’s like to grab a beer. What I’m really happy to express an apology for the venom (that was the real firehouse of fuckery…) that I have spewed out of my own pain for the last 18 months. I’ve come to realize, our kids are happier, each of us a happier, but we’re still a family, and I still really dig him. Who knows where it will lead, perhaps just family put-putt golf, who cares, right? The point is my time before the libra moon has brought me to a place where I can say, I know you have suffered just as much. I know I want you in my life. At what capacity, we will have to wait and see. Today, I’m just grateful he said yes.

    Interestingly, after reading of your loss in your 30’s mirrors mine- those loves of our lives are a hard act to follow!

    Isn’t astrology cool!!

  •' Dr Angelica Wagner says:

    Hi Debra:
    I just want to tell you how much you have affected my life in a super positive way I have a huge surprise for you and it was because of one of your posts that I also found the love of my life. I am working on myself not to be in fear, just to feel it out just to see the Flow of where this is going.
    I am so deeply grateful to you
    On this Thanksgiving day, I
    I am grateful to God for you.

  •' Jackie says:

    <3 Thank you for sharing this – never give up on love…. I'm trying…. <3

  •' Terri says:

    This was really awesome!

  •' Patricia Eastwood says:

    Thanks for that Debra!

    Was wondering where you were, or why I missed not hearing from you. Great piece that was! And, it almost mirrors my journey, the first love, the leaving, the many relationships in my 30s (while being a solo parent – yuk!) Then I found an Angel …wouldn’t you know, it was not to be. He was 10+ years my junior, but that was not an issue. I, on the other hand, wanted the world to know what a great father he might be. I set him free and he Did become a father of twins! We Pisces Sun kinda know this stuff. Own worst enemy, I reckon.

    I was feeling crappy the past few days….always my worse fears pop up in the form of finances and I get stuck and hurt. Never mind! I am going to be doing Astrology II end of October and I know ‘tomorrow is always another day’.

    I just tried online dating…I failed miserably, got all scary terrified… I think someone scammed me! Still – never say never. I was always more optimistic than the other thing.

    Oh, let’s hope love comes my way…..if not, I may well be content just being of service to humanity, reading charts, counselling people and being satisfied.

    Just wanted to say, Thanks again…this note of yours was perfect timing. I think I will go colour my hair (again) now!

    Lots of love,

    Patricia E. (P.S.: Changed my email address again, for safety’s sake.

  •' Kathryn says:

    I find all the irritating things about my husband & repeat them in a loop so many times with frustration. Yet having been together for over 20 years I love hime for being my rock, for sparking me to learn more about me so I could handle his personality. I learned to speak my truth, say how I am feeling & set boundaries. Though this has not been an easy road I love him totally. And now I am beginning to see how my water & his air make a very challenging journey for us, although I think he seems to think everything is just fine. Just the beginning of Applied Astrology has helped me understand him better & to know it’s fine, same with me, I’m ok too.

  •' Cass says:

    Thank you Deb,
    Such an uplifting piece of writing. I have also not had much luck in romantic relationships but I love my family, friends, and pets hard. I often write love texts and messages and I am generous with my time and gestures of graditude. The people that are in my life know that I love them and that counts. Hopefully one day soon I can share my love with a romantic partner.

  •' Michal says:

    Thank you for sharing this <3 Jai Ma!

  •' Casey Gannon says:

    You’ve been a part of my life for a few years now and you’ve made me see and feel a whole lot of wonderful things, but you’ve never made me cry……. until today.
    Thank you for your beautiful words doused in solid wisdom. Wisdom much needed by me right now. I respect, appreciate and yes…I love you.
    Now, if you’ll excuse me, i have one friend and a shitload of family members to express my undying love to.
    Thanks again, Sister! Love, peace and happiness to you!

  •' Jean A Riddle says:

    Debra, what a sweet sharing. I love it. Thank you for the guidance to look inward and maybe backward. I believe reflecting on the patterns was the wording. I do have many sweet people in my life. Also I have a few– two that I think of right now–that the relationship is askew. Those two are a pattern. They are probably a result of my holding back–not wanting to get hurt. There are two other relationships that are important. These are romantic relationhips. The first is my marriage which is long-term. I know that he has many needs that I do not fulfill and the same is true for me. We are working on our relationship which is complicated by age and disability. I have always been glad to be in this marriage. It may not be absolutely the best for either of us. I suspect the same is true with many relationships and marriages. I’ve witnessed a few.

    The other relationship happened a long time ago and was a thing of unconditional love . It was a definite gift for me. This is not something I share with others. I believe it was God-sent. Without this I would not have had certain experiences. Still it haunts me because of my Christian upbringing. So there is tension within me. I am working to reconcile my feelings. I am grateful that i can share them. That person has passed. The relationship changed dramatically when he became ill; but I still have feelings about it.

  •' Carolyn Meehan says:

    Love you, Debra! It’s Canadian Thanksgiving and I am giving thanks for YOU, you crazy dancing, healing, earth Mother. Love your humour, your heart and your insights. I too studied at York…even did a dance credit in the Fishbowl at Atkinson! Did the theatre degree then thirteen years of performance in t.v., live comedy and all the trimmings in between. Then I hit York again for a teaching degree but with a room full of artists! The Ontario Curriculum, delivered through the arts! It’s true. My little grade ones put up with Miss Meehan’s crazy accents, songs and ideas. We have a blast.

    The whole long-term relationship thing you wrote was very touching. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability.

    Loved your book!
    Cheers, Bella,
    Carolyn Meehan

  •' Linda says:

    Thank you so much for this personal story! I too am a Gemini with Libra rising….
    Thank you for all you are sharing with wisdom, honesty and grace!

  •' Shelly says:

    Many blessings Debra! Thanks for sharing your story, It gives this Elder some hope too!
    Love you,

  •' Myrna says:

    Beautiful…thank you for sharing, Deb!

  •' jenifer says:

    LOVING YOU RIGHT BACK XO You are so giving and a perfect example of someone that lives with her heart wide open! Thanks for spreading the love everyday!

  •' Wendy says:

    If it was always easy, how would we learn to appreciate all of the shapes and flavors and colors that it becomes? And to remember the greatest of all: the unconditional love of a true friend. And the reflection of our children, as they individuate, but are still so much like us. The saddest thing of all, whether we are in it, or knew it in the past, would be not to recognize and appreciate it.

    Thanks so much for sharing your story! It seems that you are living in a total abundance of love and connection now, coming from many directions. Time to count our many blessings.

  •' Richard Noel says:

    Thanks for sharing those deep thoughts and coincidences. Love as we know it can be an elusive “unicorn”. It comes in so many shades of uncertainty. I think the truest emotion of self love leaves fall to all else. After taking that deep look into the mirror and finding out what truly burns with your deepest passion, then and only then we can share ourselves with others. Yes sharing those scented hallmarks of “i truly care about you” draws sentiments of feelings for others about wanton wishes. Fullfilment they would ever be..follow my bliss and you will see if you so dare…yours truly

  •' Jane Reilly says:

    Hi Deb,
    That is a beautiful message. I am surprised that even you had almost ‘given up’ on finding a great relationship. Sometimes I feel that way too. Actually I haven’t been even interested for about the last 3 years. I was doing online dating before and had some success. Anyway it got exhausting.

    So I will try to be more grateful and peaceful and combat the critic in my head. I have really realized some of the extent of my critical nature which I am sure hasn’t served me in any of my relationships! Have a great Libra month.
    Thanks again!

  •' Charm Fletcher says:

    That is a wonderful message. I am trying to keep up my hope to find a good friend and partner. I too lost a partner to cancer in my late thirties and have had a tough time ever since. Here’s to a great month…of hopes and wishes fulfilled!

  •' Kathrina says:

    Hi Debra. Thank you for sharing such a personal experience. I have had so many thoughts recently about love. I feel the love within and out to others more than I ever have. Pets, babies and recently adults ? bring a tear of joy of loving them!

    Thank you for being you!

  •' Lloyd Adkins says:

    Thanks Debra for your sharing of your thoughts on love. Being a gay man at 81, I had many long term relationships which dissipated for one reason or another. I still had hope of finding Mr. right. At 75 I diagnosed with prostate cancer. I am well now, but have lost the sexual need . Today my love goes to my sister and niece. I am still open to meeting a companion in the true sense. Family is were it’s at. Love and peace to all.

  •' Jeanne Frost says:

    Dear Debra,
    This resonates so much with me. I am Scorpio Sun, Aquarius Moon, Scorpio rising. Mercury, Venus and Mars all in Sagittarius.
    Saturn is in Capricorn for the third time. Yep, time to get this right. I am an elder too.
    My loves and life have literally been all over the map.
    I wish you so much love and happiness in everything you do. You are making a huge difference in our world.
    You have certainly made a big difference in mine!

  •' Linda says:

    That’s beautiful! A great sentiment to take the mind off the other challenges in life. As an Aries I tend to get bored easily when relationships to not fit into my mold. I am going to take this time to appreciate all my special people around me. Thanks for the reminder!

  •' Dina says:

    Those of us with Venus on Virgo understand that bad Karma of no relationships…

  •' Lisa says:

    Elder? please!!!

  •' Monika says:

    Hi Deb,
    I absolutely love you!
    I know I don’t know you personally however just from watching you on your daily videos and reading things about you ,even though we are on the opposite sides of the world ;I’m here in Australia, I feel connected to you !
    Im Libra sun with a Gemini rising ,so we are kind of the flip of each other, I am aware that there is much much more to natal charts though so that’s just a small part of it.(I did study spiritual astrology with Kerrie Redgate in Sydney back in 1992)
    Just wanted to tell you that I am keen to do your online course someday,I love your style of astrology.Im just not in a position to do it right now.
    Because Venus is in retrograde in Scorpio just wanted to relany all that to you
    Just want to say love your work &love you!!
    A thousand blessings to you

  •' Teresa Taylor says:

    Oh SO sweet.I have been/am in the same circumstances.I love many of my family and friends,and have given up on the romantic one.You explained it so well Thankyou.I am a libra…Oct 2.

  •' Nina Cameron says:

    WOW, so beautiful. Thank you I needed this today <3

  •' Richard says:

    Yes, I know too. Venus, Uranus, Mercury all within 3degrees in my 9th house and only 2 from my MC – also all square my Mars in my Virgo 12th – Moon and Pluto conjunct (2degrees) in 11h Leo 9degrees away from my Leo Saturn. This week it’s Sun (16Cancer) Square the New Moon in Libra (15 degrees) plus opposite/square Pluto in Capricorn ( & Jupiter Square all my Leo placements at the same time ) – quite an emotional learning-experience. But, concentrating on the Jupiter/Sun trine at the moment and the “almost Sextile” Jupiter-Pluto aspect currently does give me the courage to deal it plus Mars in Aquarius opposite my Leo planets ( & THEN trine my Gemini ones ) for a while to come.
    There is “usually” a bit of help in the aspects to support us in times of trials – especially if we know where to look for it.

  •' Savina says:

    Debra you are sooo right!! But only I choose to work instead of dealing a broken heart. How ever there are 4 men in my life that are my dear friends.. that is an awesome feeling. And when I do date they each hope for the best… Single Fem Gemi

  •' Tauni says:

    Thank you for sharing your story Debra. Your light heartedness and optimism is refreshing. I am enjoying studying your applied astrology through Malika. Blessings &tauni
    Happy new moon ?

  •' Mary Bond says:

    I so share your history regarding love and relationships. I am a Gemini with Libra rising and finally found the love of my life at a high school reunion 14 months ago. I am 64 years old and before I reconnected with this person, I thought love was never going to be a part of my vocabulary again. I haven’t had very good luck in this area of my life.

    I have enjoyed reading Astrology Answers and listening to your videos for several years. I have always wanted a reading from you. I love your honesty and energy.

    I will be in touch.

  • Wow so beautifully written Debra. You are a great writer and a terrific story teller. I’m sorry it was sad. I feel you. Reading this is so perfect for me this the new moon, in the middle of what was and not yet. I’m a Libra rising too ;). On this new moon I’m making my manifestation list. Diving deep with love in my heart ,mind and soul. Co creating a new kind of love and infusing my relationship with my family and friends with more open hearted live. Looking back on all that wiorked I’m in the 1 level class and its great. Learning so much more about myself with my chart and in my loved ones… Thank you for the wisdom. You teach to how I learn … I honestly hope we meet again for lunch, dinner or something. I woukd love to finish our crazy conversation that we had at stars and cards. We have so much in common it’s freaky cool. *Silverman *It was kinda of mind blowing. So if you feel like it one day when your in my hood, ”hit me up” I would love that. Happy New Moon. ❤️
    Many Blessings, Xo
    Lisa Silverman
    Ps. I just had to reply, i rarely do this..
    PSS. Said the Silverman libra rising girlie on this new libra moon.

  •' Lynn-Marie Murphy says:

    Hi Debra! I’ve long been a fan of yours. I want to thank you from my heart sharing your honesty about your love relationships. I was married for 22 years, single for 10, and then with a man for 11 years , engaged to be married when I found out he was having a year long relationship with a girl 36 years younger than him. I was devastated. At the same time my oldest daughter manifested a mental disease she had been struggling with for years. I’m beyond grateful that I can provide her with a loving and safe home. It’s been an extremely difficult struggle for her and we take each day one at a time. I’m surrounded with supportive family and friends and all these are my “loving relationships”. I don’t feel single at all. I’m blessed.

  •' Jenny says:

    Beautiful! Thank you 🙂

  • Thank you for the message and your generosity.

    Much love,

  •' Lina Mansson Al Nusif says:

    Dear Debra,

    I love this writing. Thank you so much for sharing. From me Sun in Libra, struggling with romantic relationships. I do have amazing friends and family relationships that are full of Libra love.

  •' Chris says:

    Thankyou for sharing Debra . X

  •' Kristin Van Asperen says:

    Love this ? thank you for sharing your wisdom!

  •' Christine says:

    Gorgeous-I love that “Love is spreading , like water upon the sand not missing a grain”- thank you for sharing. I too have not found a forever relationship, but have several really good friendships that are true blessings. Lately, I have felt open to romantic relationship again, so we’ll see…in the meantime I am counting the blessings of what is.

  •' Tammeron Karaim says:

    How beautiful! I am so touched by reading this early today. What a gentle reminder for this new moon energy.

  •' Charlotte says:

    Ah Deb, Tara here – partner to Ben Lange. I have a Cancer stellium in the 7th house. Your reflections and wisdom concerning Libra are beautiful and prompted me to respond. I loved Ben unconditionally and with a pure heart. I prayed with all my heart to the Divine Mother to be free of resentment early on in our relationship. And to know Her and shine my love on Her. This happened, and it allowed me to be with Ben for so many years without demanding his love in return. Not only that, there was a wonderful fullness of love within me which allowed me to be free – and so Ben was free – and my, didn’t he need to be free in relationship? It was a crazy adventure and brought deep purpose and fullness to my life. When he passed I thought that was it. And I was perfectly happy with the idea of being on my own with the animals (animals were always a part of Ben’s world!). And then, 20 months later, a Libran man came into my life like a sweet breeze. And so, four years on, I am living the promise of Libran love. He has my back. He understands the depths (he has Cancer ascendant and moon) and we cherish each other and the wonder of love and loving.

    Yes, love is spreading and it can only touch all in its path as it is our essence, our very breath. You Deb have the most beautiful circle of friends (partnerships) in such a fun and dynamic way! So Gemini, so kinetic. And the sweetness of their love for you is evident (so Libran). and you tend these friends and offer guidance and amazing insight and courses (oh! Taurus moon I think?). Anyway, lovely woman, Ben loved you in his bright, crazy Aquarian way and spoke of you fondly and would have loved to see your full blossoming. I am so happy you are tasting the sweet love of partnership in a relationship. Although, as you realize, you are that sweet love and have attracted many bees around you.

    Sending you love and blissing! Tara (Charlotte)

  •' Kris Curtis says:

    thank you Debra.. you brave loving soul.. I love you

  •' Sharon says:

    This Libra ♎️ thanks you for your insight.
    I have had what I thought was “my person” in a girl friend leave me behind. She was a sister to me. I do not know the reason. She is still part of my life but more of a distant friend instead of a confidant. It is hard. I have never talked with her about it. I am afraid to push her away further.

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