Free from all old stories I’ve been told
I walk through the valley
of my own shadow.
~ ‘Gajumaru,’ Yaima
Let’s walk through the valley of my shadow. That’s what this full moon is about: seeking healing for the wounds that linger in the dark.
My shadow: I grew up not far from the Detroit Zoo (that’s not just a metaphor; it’s true). I was living in a community that was called in the old days a ‘shtetl’ (a Yiddish word for town/village). Like most families, we were living with a deeply codependent dynamic. Every day for years, my mom, her sisters and her mom talked. There were no boundaries — for good reasons: they were scared and stayed close.
Both sets of my grandparents, like so many of those of us in North America, arrived in New York at Ellis Island as refugees from Ukraine and Russia, and they did not speak English. My grandmother told me this heartbreaking story: her six siblings all came over, but she was the one holding her dad when he died on the boat.
Scorpio: Where an imprint of pain is handed to you. It’s your childhood-birthed trauma, when something unexpected happens and hides in your emotional body forevermore.
Scorpio carries the sins of the fathers. They have a memory system that stashes its impact inside the reptilian part of your brain without even knowing it. This is what creates your inner world, which is why therapy is so important: to unpack the pain and turn it into wisdom.
1960: My grandfather Nathan was a Capricorn — an entrepreneur who studied enough English to own a carpet store in downtown Detroit. Here comes another trauma — this one marked us all.
That day, a tsunami moved through our house. After that event — coupled with the trauma of my family leaving Russia and Ukraine — words like ‘safety’ or ‘trust’ or even ‘relaxation’ all went out the window. And so began the caked lining of my own shadow.
After my grandfather’s death, my grandmother still kept her Jewish traditions. She lit candles every Friday night, she spoke Yiddish, and kept a kosher home. Interestingly enough, none of this was left behind. Her daughters did not continue the traditions — none, literally zero was handed to my mom or her sisters — not the recipe for Bubbie’s chicken soup, or Gefilte fish, or how to light the candles. It all ended with Bubbie.
Fear lives in a non-verbal zone; no one in my family trusted God.
The trauma continued: My father (unbeknownst to me) was in the Jewish Mafia. He had already been to jail as a teenager, but that was top secret. No one ever mentioned my grandfather’s death. No one mentioned the Mafia. This is so Scorpio: if we don’t speak to it, we are all safe.
The first time my dad went to prison, they told us kids that he had gone to camp. After a couple years, I was smartening up as a 5-year-old, and I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t come home. That illusion was crushed in the little girls bathroom, when I overheard my friends saying: “Debbie’s dad’s not in camp — he’s in jail.” I was shocked.
Thanks for listening to the valley of my shadows. I am certain that you have them too.
When a powerful Scorpio full moon arrives, it is matched by its opposite: the archetype of Taurus. Every full moon, the Sun and Moon carry on a dialogue of opposites.
Hello Taurus: the ultimate soother. Like the patience of a sequoia tree, Taurus energy just stands there. Breathing, constant and steady. No trauma here.
Because Taurus can absorb trauma, sadness, and drama with its ability to exchange it with love, Taurus becomes the healer. We then have transmutation — which means you take the pain and turn it into wisdom — brought to you by good therapists, Astrologers, shamans, and/or healers.
The ultimate question this full moon asks: What are you doing with your trauma? We all have it. There is not a human alive that didn’t enter this realm without a mom screaming. We begin with tears; we end with tears. Birth and Death — both ruled by the essences of this full moon.
Join me in this full moon to assume the role of the one who will change the patterns brought to you by your upbringing. That’s what my class TMAS (Tell Me A Story) is: my chance to show you how to rewrite your story. Ask me for help by emailing email@example.com, and I’ll share with you a good therapist who can help break the pattern — we have some standing by.
With the power of Scorpio’s honesty and focus, coupled with the energy of Taurus, anything can change during this full moon. Therapy is a worthy door (said every Scorpio), and there are other ways too. How can I inspire you to reach out?
I have walked you through the valley of my own shadow, up here to the mountain of the observer’s point of view. From here, I can see all of this was a test from my soul, to see if I could change the nonverbal basement of my psyche into creating healing for all concerned. That’s every human’s job.