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Free from all old stories I’ve been told

I walk through the valley

of my own shadow.

~ ‘Gajumaru,’ Yaima

 

Let’s walk through the valley of my shadow. That’s what this full moon is about: seeking healing for the wounds that linger in the dark.

My shadow: I grew up not far from the Detroit Zoo (that’s not just a metaphor; it’s true). I was living in a community that was called in the old days a ‘shtetl’ (a Yiddish word for town/village). Like most families, we were living with a deeply codependent dynamic. Every day for years, my mom, her sisters and her mom talked. There were no boundaries — for good reasons: they were scared and stayed close.

Both sets of my grandparents, like so many of those of us in North America, arrived in New York at Ellis Island as refugees from Ukraine and Russia, and they did not speak English. My grandmother told me this heartbreaking story: her six siblings all came over, but she was the one holding her dad when he died on the boat.

Scorpio: Where an imprint of pain is handed to you. It’s your childhood-birthed trauma, when something unexpected happens and hides in your emotional body forevermore.

Scorpio carries the sins of the fathers. They have a memory system that stashes its impact inside the reptilian part of your brain without even knowing it. This is what creates your inner world, which is why therapy is so important: to unpack the pain and turn it into wisdom.

1960: My grandfather Nathan was a Capricorn — an entrepreneur who studied enough English to own a carpet store in downtown Detroit. Here comes another trauma — this one marked us all.

That day, a tsunami moved through our house. After that event — coupled with the trauma of my family leaving Russia and Ukraine — words like ‘safety’ or ‘trust’ or even ‘relaxation’ all went out the window. And so began the caked lining of my own shadow.

After my grandfather’s death, my grandmother still kept her Jewish traditions. She lit candles every Friday night, she spoke Yiddish, and kept a kosher home. Interestingly enough, none of this was left behind. Her daughters did not continue the traditions — none, literally zero was handed to my mom or her sisters — not the recipe for Bubbie’s chicken soup, or Gefilte fish, or how to light the candles. It all ended with Bubbie.

Fear lives in a non-verbal zone; no one in my family trusted God.

The trauma continued: My father (unbeknownst to me) was in the Jewish Mafia. He had already been to jail as a teenager, but that was top secret. No one ever mentioned my grandfather’s death. No one mentioned the Mafia. This is so Scorpio: if we don’t speak to it, we are all safe.

The first time my dad went to prison, they told us kids that he had gone to camp. After a couple years, I was smartening up as a 5-year-old, and I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t come home. That illusion was crushed in the little girls bathroom, when I overheard my friends saying: “Debbie’s dad’s not in camp — he’s in jail.” I was shocked.

Thanks for listening to the valley of my shadows. I am certain that you have them too.

When a powerful Scorpio full moon arrives, it is matched by its opposite: the archetype of Taurus. Every full moon, the Sun and Moon carry on a dialogue of opposites.

Hello Taurus: the ultimate soother. Like the patience of a sequoia tree, Taurus energy just stands there. Breathing, constant and steady. No trauma here.

Because Taurus can absorb trauma, sadness, and drama with its ability to exchange it with love, Taurus becomes the healer. We then have transmutation — which means you take the pain and turn it into wisdom — brought to you by good therapists, Astrologers, shamans, and/or healers.

The ultimate question this full moon asks: What are you doing with your trauma? We all have it. There is not a human alive that didn’t enter this realm without a mom screaming. We begin with tears; we end with tears. Birth and Death — both ruled by the essences of this full moon.

Join me in this full moon to assume the role of the one who will change the patterns brought to you by your upbringing. That’s what my class TMAS (Tell Me A Story) is: my chance to show you how to rewrite your story. Ask me for help by emailing silvermansupport@gmail.com, and I’ll share with you a good therapist who can help break the pattern — we have some standing by.

With the power of Scorpio’s honesty and focus, coupled with the energy of Taurus, anything can change during this full moon. Therapy is a worthy door (said every Scorpio), and there are other ways too. How can I inspire you to reach out?

I have walked you through the valley of my own shadow, up here to the mountain of the observer’s point of view. From here, I can see all of this was a test from my soul, to see if I could change the nonverbal basement of my psyche into creating healing for all concerned. That’s every human’s job.

Blessings,
Debra

23 Comments

  • Ccraymond1@gmail.com' CC Raymond says:

    Debra
    What a powerful story! Thank you for sharing. I am also a Detroit girl, more on the east side where all the Italians settled. I too am a descendant from mafia ties, but that is not trauma. I celebrate everyday being Sicilian and love my family and that city.

  • Allenn129@icloud.com' Nancy says:

    Debra I feel your pain. I also grew up in Detroit (Gratiot & 6 Mile). I was 11 in 1960 so do not remember your grandfather’s murder. I had a dear Jewish friend who died of cancer during the height of covid19. She told me a bit about the discrimination you are talking about and to which I was so oblivious as I grew up in a neighborhood which had large numbers. Of Italian, German, and Polish as well as many other ethnic groups. My lineage came in from Poland in the late 1800 early 1900’s. We all need to be aware of and find ways to alleviate the pain of discrimination in this world. Thank you for your heartfelt yet painful share! ?

  • grandmababa55@gmail.com' Carole says:

    Wow Debra, Thank you for sharing this heartfelt story with us. As a Taurus with Scorpio rising & Moon in Pisces I felt the trauma (along with my own)
    God bless us everyone ???

  • raquel.fernando27@gmail.com' Raquel says:

    Thank you for your words. Sometimes what We are suposed to do in this life gets messy when nothing seems to get better. I’m grateful, i’m aware but i’m in pain for me and for my family. God bless you.
    Love from Mozambique

  • glennarand@gmail.com' Glenna says:

    Mahalo for sharing Debra. Sending love your way. OXO

  • whyte917@gmail.com' Tina Whyte says:

    Yes, I need this full moon!!! I have so many past traumas. Generational curses. Thank you for sharing.

  • whyte917@gmail.com' Tina Whyte says:

    Yes, I need this full moon!!! I have so many past traumas. Generational curses. Thank you for sharing. Pisces here.

  • Laurenwray@comcast.net' Lauren Falwell says:

    You would never know that was your story, to look at you now. Vivid in my mind, it brought me to tears. I can never thank you enough for the gift you have given me. The lessons I have learned from the opportunity having been a student of yours, as well as the other Mentors. The past year and a half have been a huge growth process for me and the ripple effect is showing. Thank you for what you do for others. Namaste <3

  • jodeebelle@gmail.com' Jodee Anderson says:

    Debra,
    Thank you for sharing your story…you are one very brave soul…I love being in your community. You teach me everyday how to make sense of my unconscious mind.
    Blessings,
    Jodee

  • mariekiss512@gmail.com' Marie Kiss says:

    Thank you for sharing your family history of pain.

  • Beautiful, Debra. Thank you.

  • Debra Silverman – once again you have taken me deeper to an ah ha moment with your blog. I am always reminded why I chose you as my mentor. I am dealing with a situation right now (during this Eclipse season) with an old emotional pattern that I have to own. A Libra Moon tendency to hold in negative feelings until they explode (opposite Saturn in Aries in 12th) out and blow up a relationship. Well, you have pointed out that this may even go deeper than a pattern with me. It is part of my shadow self as it reflects my relationship with my mother (she was bi polar) so I had to walk on egg shells and constantly manage or be careful of her feelings. AS she did with her father (who was in the war and had flashbacks when he used to drink). WOW. We all had “don’t speak the truth” but pretend all is well issues. I choose people to be close to me who have intense dark feelings that I constantly need to manage, smooth over, or help to balance. My husband of 22 years and now my room mate of 10 years. (both Scorpio’s) My DC is Scorpio so I guess my relationship transformation will come in how I behave with them. Do I go deep and speak about those feelings to gain emotional intimacy OR do I avoid, deny and shy away or leave… I am doing things differently this time. All cards on the table and facing it head on. Thank you Debra for shedding light on this shadow that I carry – that I inherited. I am aware and can work with it now.

  • Bethlevey@gmail.com' Beth Levey says:

    Thank you Debra for your intimate story. A very painful shock to a little girl who loves and misses her father :(( Your wisdom abounds.
    Much appreciated.
    Beth
    Taurus

  • trthorseranch@gmail.com' Colleen O'Connor says:

    Thank you for your beautiful share Debra ?
    I am so full of gratitude to be a member of Wisdom of the Crones

  • latvietis.jari@yahoo.com' Jānis says:

    Bless you for sharing. We love you!

  • Sddunn77@gmail.com' Sommer says:

    Thank you! I am a double Taurus and am feeling the energies around so much! Crying and the healing and then hurting them happy. I love Scorpio energy ans Scorpio people, yet now at this time I’m feeling so much darkness and rejection in my life.

  • dorineh@xtra.co.nz' Dorine Hooykaas says:

    Wow, Debra, thank you for bearing your naked shadow to us. That is awe- inspiring. I am not even sure what mine is, but feel freed up to seek and a know. Gratitude.

  • Pertinent example, Now I understand why this election circus is getting me down. So important for individuals to do their inner work.

  • bentonts@yahoo.com' Tonya Benton says:

    Thanks for modelling the unpacking of trauma. I am part of the Neptune in Scorpio generation with a double grand trine in water. I learn by feeling. The ancestral karma cycle runs in my father’s line. My father healed some of it and now my sisters and I continue the transmutation. Codependency is lessening, the Observer is noticing. We are healing. And we still get triggered to escape as fast as possible. I need to speak trauma of my struggle with trust and safety. Send Taurus compassion to myself and the Collective. Hugs!

  • Ijustwantmusicinmylife@gmail.com' Christine D says:

    Dearest Debra,
    I am going through this now too. Thank you for sharing all the pain you have endured over this life. I too have experienced many childhood trauma. I am Scorpio sun,Leo Asendant W/Aries Moon. I am very much feeling this Scorpio Moon. I have been listening to you for years. You have amazed me with your knowledge and how powerful Astrology has helped you gain so much insight. I just listened to the 3 podcasts and had a amazing cry through all three of them. You are an amazing Soul. Sending Blessings and Purple light to you. Thank you for being a True Leader of Light. Blessings & Love, Christine

  • Jen_ruth_ladd@yahoo.com' Jennifer ladd says:

    Hi Debra, thank you so so much for sharing your shadow. I am so grateful for having the universe put me in touch with you and the community you have created. I understand what it is like to be brought up with a shadow in family life around death and secrets. The secrets were the worst. The shame I felt for just wanting to connect and understand what was going on. My mum was a Taurus ♉️ but at home it was Scorpio energy all over the place from my IC perspective. I’m just trying to uproot so many aspects of shadow it is overwhelming and also hopeful in that I am becoming aware of more patterns to shift.

    Sending love ❤️

    Jennifer xxxx

  • narani_o@yahoo.com' narani o'shaughnessy says:

    Debra, you rock! Thanks for being you. I’m a pretty new student of your astro classes, learning a lot of good stuff. Have had many years of therapy and all kinds of alternative healing, and still more to go!!! And so much more to learn!!! Have been a beast (kinda) in some intimate relationships and am so hoping I can apply skills and knowledge and wisdom when it gets hot! First level and all the freebies you offer are so helpful, as well as the painful story you just shared. Goddess Bless you and your family.

  • reganmaryrose@gmail.com' MaryRose Regan says:

    Deborah,
    Bless you for your insights and awareness.
    Prayers to you and your family for evolving through your trauma.
    As a Leo Sun in the 8th house (Scorpio) I feel your pain.
    I have been a Caregiver for Seniors for the last 10 years and witness touch generational trauma
    The reason I became a Caregiver is due to a Retina Tear and almost loosing my sight in my right eye.
    Caregiver gives me much freedom to be me and get creative with my Seniors and their Situations and Family Dynamics.
    Bless us all for our journey in this third dimension called planet earth. Through you we learn to take the Highest path!!!
    ???

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